A/N1: Slightly AU – Mulder/William denial.
A/N2: Written for the Passion and Perfection Major Fandoms Event.
A/N3: Special thanks to oxfordshoes2 for the beta.
“Do you ever regret it?”
The brunette averted her eyes and lightly chewed on her lower lip, suddenly not so sure she want-ed to know the answer to her question. A gentle hand cupped her cheek and tenderly urged her to turn her head back towards her companion. Fingertips lightly caressing her cheek, her brow, her lips made her heart race… She opened her eyes to gaze into those bright blue eyes.
“Do I regret what?”
“Do you ever regret walking away from…”
“From the Bureau?”
“No.” A wistful smile. “Do I sometimes wonder what my days would be like if I was still in the Bureau? Sure. Like you, I spent a number of years as a special agent, chasing bad guys and trying to solve crimes. But I like being a doctor. I like what I do.” The redhead eyed her companion… and clouded look in her dark brown eyes. “That’s not all you want to know, is it?”
A flash of guilt before she could avert her eyes again.
“Monica? What is it?”
“What about him? Do you ever regret walking away from him?”
Dana gently took Monica’s face between both of her hands so that they could look into each other’s eyes. “Absolutely not.”
“But he was–”
“My partner – nothing more.” Dana took a slow breath as she saw the doubt in her lover’s eyes.
Monica cursed herself for allowing old doubts to haunt her. In her heart she knew Dana loved her and the life they’d built together. But…
She felt the backs of her eyes sting. “You wanted to have a child with him,” she murmured shakily.
Dana wrapped her arms around Monica and held her close, kissing her forehead. Dana felt a lump in her throat as she heard the tears her lover was holding back in Monica’s soft words. “I never gave having children much thought until I was told I couldn’t have any. It kind of threw me for a loop. So when I was told I had a chance, however slight, I felt compelled to try. It was an emotional time for me and I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. I asked Mulder to be a donor because I simply couldn’t think of anyone else at the time.”
Monica sniffed as she tucked her face into Dana’s neck. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“I know you love me, you show me every day. I don’t know why I let things from the past get to me.” She sniffed again. “That was a difficult time for you and I…”
“Shhh, it’s okay, honey.” Dana kissed her lover’s temple. “I was upset when I miscarried, but truthfully I know it was for the best.” The redhead slipped her hand under the crisp white sheet and tenderly caressed her lover’s swollen belly. “Besides, this child, our child, is the one that’s meant to be.”
Monica started crying, but for a completely different reason. “God! I never used to be so weepy.”
Dana smiled with understanding. “It’s the hormones, love.”
The brunette chuckled. “That’s what you said about my sex drive, too,” she replied as her own hand slipped inside her lover’s pajamas.