A Carrot?!

A/N: This is the result of a prompt given to me by Widget007.


“This is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen!” Jess said, waving her hand at the body on the autopsy table sporting a rather large carrot protruding from his eye socket. She turned her head to hide the smile she was failing to suppress and coughed to cover her snickering.


The brunette cleared her throat and tried to look at the stern pathologist. “Yes?” Her lips were still twitching with a barely contained smile.

“I called you down here because I wanted your opinion.”

“About what?”

“Have you seen this before?”

“What? You think we have a serial killer who kills with vegetation? He was out of celery so he used a carrot! A deranged chef maybe?” She finally burst out laughing. “Oh, I know – it was Chef Gordon Ramsey. He finally lost it during an episode of Hell’s Kitchen when this guy put sugar in the risotto instead of salt.” She bent over double, laughing and wiping the tears from her eyes.

It was a couple of minutes before Jess was able to stop laughing. She looked at Dana, taking in her crossed arms and sternly arched eyebrow.

“Are you done?”

“Um… sorry?”

“I wasn’t referring to the carrot. I was referring to the damage to his throat.”

Still smiling with amusement, Jess moved closer to the autopsy table and examined the wounds her lover was pointing to. “Well, it wasn’t a vampire. It looks as if some type of weapon was used in a manner to replicate animal bites. If you can, make a cast of the wounds.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Jess turned to walk out, chuckling.