Soylent Blue

Spoilers/Timeline: Alternate Reality. No real spoilers but in this reality Janet is a Marine instead of an Air Force officer.
A/N1: Written for the Fall 2010 Sam and Janet Ficathon. This is a tongue-in-cheek piece and you’ll find a few homages, some subtle and some blatant, to other sci-fi movies and shows contained within.
A/N2: Special thanks to ariestess and quiethearted for the beta.


Sam dropped her gun and slowly raised her hands. “Listen, you don’t have to do this.”

“Sorry, Sam,” Janet replied as she fired her gun.

Sam’s body spun from the impact of the shot. She landed on the floor, a red pool expanding from under her as blood escaped from the wound. Janet turned to the woman that stood to her right, flashing a smug smirk.

The redhead arched an eyebrow in both surprise and approval. “Who else are we going to find wandering around?”

“There shouldn’t be anyone else.”

“Why wasn’t she knocked out by the gas?”

“Colonel Carter was host to a Tok’ra symbiote briefly. That experience altered her blood chemistry and made her resistant to some things.”

“Anyone else in the complex have the same resistance as her?”

“Teal’c – he’s a Jaffa – but he started living off-world before I left.”

“Is there a way to verify he’s not here?”

“Yes. There’s a log that’s kept of all departures and arrivals through the stargate.”

“Show me,” Tandra ordered.

With a glance at Sam’s body, Janet led the commander to the control room.


In the control room, Janet moved Walter’s somnolent form from where it was slumped over the console and onto the floor. She pulled open a drawer, took out the log, and opened it.

“According to this, Teal’c hasn’t been on the base in over a month.”

“Alright. Let’s get what we came for.”

“We’ll need a key card to access the elevator and storage locker,” Janet said as she went over to the general’s body and removed his access card.

They quickly located and appropriated what they’d come for and headed back to the gate room, both carrying a metal case by each hand. On the way, Janet ducked into the control room and en-tered an address into the dialing computer. She reached down and grabbed the hand of Walter, where he still lay unconscious, and pressed it against the palm scanner to activate the dialing pro-gram and joined Tandra at the base of the ramp in the gate room. Their mission had lasted only a few minutes, yet it was a huge triumph for the cause.

As soon as the gate shut down, a hand slapped down on the palm-sized button that activated the emergency air filtration system. The complex was flooded with pulmozine, neutralizing whatever foreign substance had been introduced to the air of the complex and had knocked everyone out. People began waking up.



Sam let out a grunt as Daniel helped her up from where she was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall below the air filtration emergency switch.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Janet shot me.”


Sam cut her eyes to the side and saw the amused smirk that Daniel was trying to stifle. “Shut up.”


Dr. Lam looked up as Daniel helped Sam into the infirmary. With a nod she directed them to an empty gurney as she sent Sgt. Siler on his way with a gel-cast on his broken wrist, telling him to report back in a week to have it removed. She pulled on a fresh pair of gloves and cut away the shirt from the wound on Sam’s upper chest near her left shoulder.

Daniel walked over to the phone on the wall and called up to the control room, knowing that was where the general would be. He then called the other member of SG-1 that was on the base. Major Mitchell arrived in the infirmary first.

“What happened?” Mitchell asked.

“Janet shot me.”


“Ow!” Sam exclaimed as Dr. Lam dug around a little.

“Good, you can feel that,” Lam observed.

“Yes, I can! So, be careful.”

The doctor pulled out the bullet and dropped it into a metal bowl with a clang. “Can you move your fingers?” She watched as Sam moved each finger in turn. “You’re lucky – a little to the right and the bullet would have hit the servo giving you control of your artificial arm and hand, and a little to the left and the bullet would have missed the cybernetics and punctured your lung.”

General O’Neill entered. “You okay, Carter?”

“Yes, sir. As soon the doc patches me up I’ll be ready to go.”

“What happened?”

“Colonel Fraiser shot her!” Mitchell exclaimed.

Jack took in Sam’s blush. “Again? How many times is that now?”

“Three,” she answered softly.

Daniel smirked. “Uh, actually, it’s four.”

Sam glared at him. “The first time doesn’t count.”

Jack grinned. “Either way, it’s a good thing Fraiser is the All Service Marksman Champion. As soon as you’re ready, the three of you can join Teal’c on the Essari.


Janet and Tandra stepped through the gate and onto Tankin. They had gone through a series of four gates to arrive at their destination once they left the SGC so that they couldn’t be tracked. They were welcomed as returning heroes and those that had any lingering doubts of Janet’s intentions now gave her their respect. She had delivered as promised.

After a celebratory dinner, Janet began inoculating everyone. Tandra stood behind Janet’s right shoulder, observing, not because she didn’t trust Janet, but because she was genuinely curious.

“And just a small injection of this blue liquid is enough to protect us?” Tandra asked.

Janet smiled over her shoulder at Tandra. “Yes. SGC personnel have been using Soylent Blue for over six months.” Janet mentally cringed at the name General O’Neill had dubbed the deuridium isotope they were using. She hadn’t been sure she’d be able to say it and keep a straight face; however, she was infinitely grateful the solution was blue and not green.


After the doctor sealed Sam’s wound and warned her to take it easy on her shoulder for a few days, Sam and her team beamed up to the Furling ship waiting in orbit.

“Welcome aboard the Essari, Colonel Carter. I am Captain Steelflame. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Teal’c has told me much about you and SG-1.” Steelflame extended her paw.

Sam smiled and accepted it, finding her hand dwarfed by the paw, impressed by the downy softness of the fur and razor sharp claws that gently and carefully curled around her hand, as she looked up at the feloid features of their host. “Thank you, Captain. This is the rest of my team – Dr. Daniel Jackson and Major Cameron Mitchell.”

“I will show you and your pack to your quarters. It is almost time for evening meal. After we eat, you and I can discuss the mission. Please, come with me.”

Daniel and Mitchell fell in behind Sam and Steelflame. Two honor guards brought up the rear.


Teal’c stood when the door slid open and the rest of his team entered. No one said anything as the door closed behind them.

“Colonel Carter, it is good to see you.”

Sam smiled as they hugged. “It’s good to see you, too, Teal’c. Have they been treating you al-right?”

“Indeed. I find the Furlings to be a very honorable race.”

There was a knock on the door before it opened again. A crewman brought in SG-1’s evening meal and then left, leaving the team alone to enjoy their meal.

“This is good, but I would have thought we’d eat with crew of the Essari,” Mitchell observed.

“When they asked, I indicated that you would prefer to eat separately,” Teal’c explained.


“Furlings prefer their food uncooked.”

“I don’t mind a little steak tartare,” said Mitchell.

“And alive,” Teal’c added.

Daniel and Sam exchanged an amused smirk as Mitchell paled.


After dinner Sam met privately with the captain to discuss the mission.

“I hope dinner was to your liking, Colonel.”

“It was delicious, Captain. Thank you. And you can call me Sam.”

“You may call me Steelflame – it is the closest approximation of my name in your language, since it is unpronounceable by your species.” Steelflame indicated for Sam to sit down as she poured them each a drink. Steelflame handed Sam a metal goblet and sat across from her.

“It’s my understanding that your operative has been undercover with the Corellians for several months,” said Steelflame.

“Yes, she has been.”

“Then how can you be sure she hasn’t turned?”

Sam met Steelflame’s gaze resolutely. “Because I know Colonel Fraiser better than anyone and I trust her implicitly. She’s very good at what she does and people tend to underestimate her.” She smirked. “Very often to their detriment. But I don’t; I know what she’s capable of. She’s my wife,” she finished with a knowing smile.


It took almost a week for Janet and Tandra to visit all the Corellian secret bases and inoculate eve-ryone. As the Soylent Blue reacted to the iron in their blood, the sensors on the Essari were able to pinpoint the location of each and every person inoculated with it.

After another three days with no new blips showing up on the sensors, the decision was made to make the move and apprehend all of the Corellians. The Corellians were an unsavory bunch; if it was illegal, they were involved in it.

It took little more than a day to round up all of the Corellians. After dropping SG-1 off on Earth, the Essari headed to the Asgard world Othalla, where the prisoners would be tried for their crimes. Once Janet’s testimony was taken, she was transported back to Earth by the Asgard. She beamed down to the SGC and met with General O’Neill to debrief.

Janet was relieved O’Neill didn’t require an extensive debriefing and sent her home with orders to take a couple of weeks off. She headed home, looking forward to spending some long overdue time with her wife.


Straddling Sam’s lap, Janet examined the healed wound in her wife’s shoulder, inspecting the work of Dr. Lam… and the accuracy of her own marksmanship.

“You know, the guys are getting way too much amusement from the fact that you shot me again,” Sam said lightheartedly. “And I think my new XO is regretting having requested assignment to the SGC and to SG-1.”

“Well, I can’t do anything about what your XO thinks, but I can make it up to you,” Janet replied with a mischievous smile.

“Considering this is the third time you’ve shot me–”

“Fourth, actually.”

“–I’d say you’ve got a lot of making up to do.”

A dark eyebrow arched. “I wasn’t the one who was sneaking around where I wasn’t supposed to be. You knew what the plan was, Sam. What were you trying to do?”

“Well, I wanted…”

“You wanted what?”

“I wanted to see you. You keep going on these undercover missions.”

Janet smirked. “It’s not my fault the general keeps sending me.”

“Yes, it is. You’re just so damn cute and adorable that they always underestimate you.” She paused for a beat. “I also wanted to see Tandra, to see if she was as beautiful as the rumors about her said she was.”

“First off, they underestimate me because they don’t know what it means to be a Marine. Semper Fi!” Janet said proudly. She gazed into Sam’s bright blue eyes. “And secondly, it doesn’t matter how beautiful Tandra was or wasn’t, because I’m your wife and I love you. Semper Fi – always faithful.”

“Ooh rah,” Sam replied with a grin, the look in Janet’s eyes telling her she was in for long and sleepless night.